Every week or two I will be answering a question from the Girls Ask Guys website. I personally love this place, there are so many questions, articles and things to do and read that cause a lot of inspiration for this blog.
So one of the questions asked on this was
Question: Girls, is there the perfect time/place to speak to women? Is there a chance to understand the other gender better?
Answer: Isn't this the most debated topic like ever? What are the best pickup lines? When is the right time to approach a girl? What are the best things you can say to make yourself look cool?
So here is the thing ...
The only reason why guys are where they are is because they have been asking the wrong questions!! ...
Picking up and attracting the opposite sex isn’t about the way you look, what lines you use and what car you drive. While I will admit they do help .. they are not the end all.
What I'm talking about is an overall philosophy and attitude. What I’m talking about is a way of thinking and a way of life.
If you actually look at some of the most successful attraction/dating coaches you can see that they don’t really focus on the nitty gritty techniques. They don’t teach you what you should or should not say. But in a sense they teach you what you should and should not think.
Heres the other thing. It all start in your head. PUA's always refer it to as the inner game. I call it ... having a personality.
Most people will be unsuccessful in their life for a number of core reasons that if they just fixed they would see their life transform. so now you ask ...
What are some of these core reasons?
Well for one its beliefs you hold about yourself and about the opposite sex in general. A lot of people who go want to know how to do better with the opposite sex find that it all starts with themselves.
What do you believe about yourself? Do you think that you are attractive? What are some of the qualities that you find appealing in yourself. What do you believe you are worthy of?
I know that I’m always coming back to "yourself". But the only reason why I do this, is because THIS is where you have to start. If you are retarded in this area. Well that is going to reflect in your life. If you are smart and savvy in this area and you have beliefs that really serve you, then life is going to be an equal reflection of this too.
So relating back to the question.
No there is no right time for an approach. You can approach a chick anywhere anytime as long as you have a confident attitude to follow it up with. I would even go as far as to say, that you can say ANYTHING to a chick and provided that you can back it up with some sort of a personality, that it will work.
Because in your approach its not just what you say .. but its how you act and its how you come across. If you believe that "its on" and that you are confident, funny and charming ... that’s probably something that you would be able to communicate in your approach. If on the other hand you approach a chick and the thoughts running through your mind are "she going to reject me", "I'm going to look like an idiot", "I have no idea how I'm going to convince her to like me" .... well then you are right.
You are not going to have a chance. The same goes for girls when it comes to dating. If all you think are needy and insecure thoughts about yourself and about relationships you are also going to communicate this across to the person that you are seeing. Like I always say. Its starts with YOU!
What do you guys reckon? In regards to what i said about approaches. Do you think that its about the overall game. Or are there some approaches that you think would work better or have worked better in the past?
Let me know your thoughts
Hot Alpha Female
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6 Insights:
I think attitude is the most important aspect like you say... I've met the best girls when i least expected, probably because i didn't have that hungry desperate vibe most guys tend to have when they are out trying to pick up girls.
Than being said, I also think that there are certain things you can say or do during a pickup to make your chance of success higher... even if your attitude isn't quite perfeced yet.
IMO successful opening depends mostly on you, somewhat on her state of mind, and a little bit on your actual line. If you bring an awesome energy, you can pretty much open any person with any line. That's why pickup is so great, because you have the opportunity to completely blow away someone with your vibe and your personality alone.
If your vibe is strong enough, saying something inane like, "I like salad," will open successfully. See any FR from RSD guys for evidence.
But, I agree with Bobby, if you're still working on your inner game (which everyone is), you can give yourself an advantage with solid openers and tight routine stacks. These things are absolutely necessary as you work on your anxiety and confidence issues.
And I agree, there is no right time for an approach. No one walks around and thinks, gee, I'm ready for strangers to talk to me. You just have to jump out there and do it.
I agree, if only, more men would work at their inner game....on the other hand, I remember being in my prime, and asking relationship questions, to which I got answers, that made little sense..........to sum up, this is easier said, than done........hunter...
To bobby rio,
You said you didn't have that hungry vibe most guys have?......you must have just gotten laid, or, you are past your prime.......some people do say, a man must have a woman to catch another woman.......hunter
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