Recently I have been commenting on a relationship blog and there are a number of interesting and somewhat controversial topics that have come up. I have received many responses to my post on there called
Here we are debating a number of things mainly about the reason as to why there should be a dating game at all and why women feel they are entitled to continually test men. Here is my response to all the comments I have received.
So lets get something straight first. Dating as a game. It may not be what you guys are all thinking. The dating game is not about a set of rules that one must abide by. It is not about being fake. Its not about having fun by playing with someone’s emotions to make yourself feel better. It is not about being someone that you are not. It IS about having a template to fall back on, by which you fill it with your own uniqueness, your own personality and who you really are. Its about having certain skills that you can apply to your personality that will allow you to achieve the outcome that you want, to get that girl that YOU think is worthy of desiring.
Some of you may argue that “hey if the girl is right for you she will like you regardless” … I say to that … Good luck with you and I sincerely hope that she does. But the truth of the matter is, that she most likely will not. Hey if you have found a girl like that .. that’s great .. hope you live happily ever after. But there are millions of guys out there screaming and yelling who are extremely frustrated that they cant seem to get ANY chick that they want. Its not that they have a bad personality. Im sure these guys are great! Im sure they have plenty to offer a chick. Its just that they don’t know how to get noticed. That’s all the dating game is about. Being able to get noticed. So you can get that girls attention and she can appreciate you for who you really are. But my advice only falls on the ears of those that are ready and willing to listen.
I hear so many guys complain that all girls want from a guy is stability, a credit card and a nice car. This could not be further from the truth. For me personally, money, status none of it matters and that is the absolute truth. Yeh there are some girls out there that are just looking for the money. I guess its hard to stereotype people into certain categories. At the end of the day if money is all that you are looking for in a relationship .. well you need to work on some serious issues. Who’s to say that you need a man to provide for you anyways?
Women these days are becoming more and more independent than ever. That’s what I love about the modern day women. She can have anything she wants, she doesn’t need to rely on her man to financially support her. She is his equal. And all she is looking for is someone that matches her level. For me I look for a guy that has depth to his personality. That has a spark about him, that wants to make the most of life. He is ambitious and passionate about what he does. Usually people who think and act like this are successful or will be in the very near future. And usually with success comes the money. But whether a guy has money or not is no relevance to me. It’s the mindset of how he thinks of what his core values are and what he thinks is possible for the future that makes him so attractive. Money, cars, looks, status .. these are all things that people can take away.
But the one thing that can never be taken away from you … is who you are .. at the end of the day that’s what really matters. Some people, and guys especially are afraid to express who they really are. But that’s all women want. For the man to be what he really is. It is that way, that attraction is build and respect developed. Its not about searching for the better prize .. its about testing guys so you know when you have found the one that you appreciate the most .. and vice versa.
Let me know your thought guys – Because I’m listening
Hot Alpha Female
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3 Insights:
HAF: You have Angel Eyes Devil Smile on your blogroll, so I'm going to assume you know about pickup and "game". I generally agree with the thoughts in your post. I'm a PUA also. What's the question you're asking??
Life is a game, and dating is especially so. We all play it whether we like it or not. Guys that understand attraction are the guys that get the girls.
honeyandlance.com
Hi lance,
A PUA hey? How come you guys are the only ones that agree with what i have to say? LoL
I definately think that life is game in the sense that .. there are certain things that work, that make life easier ..law of attraction all that stuff.
Same thing applies to the dating game. Yet i find a lot of guys have trouble accepting that dating is game. N that really frustrates me. Because if you don't acknowledge that it is a game, then you are going to cont to do things that don't work in your favor and you never going to get out of your rut!
Ultimately i created this blog, to help the guys and girls out there that just really cant figure it out. Because there are great people out there, they jsut need to be noticed
thanks lance, will be checking out your website =)
Hot Alpha Female
I think this post most concisely crystallizes your view on the dating "game." Essentially it's an exercise in self-promotion, you assert. I think this reveals more about you than it does about dating. That is, that you are a natural self-promoter and that that is how you approach many parts of life.
What this does not account for is that 80% of the people in this world are averse to self-promotion to some degree.
Also, "getting noticed" is a two-part act. It requires two people to happen. You have to "display" yourself, and another has to recognize your display.
Problem is, what if the other person doesn't know quality when he/she sees it? It takes experience to spot the really fine stones, just as it takes experience in life to spot the truly good people.
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